Why first love is hard to forget?

“First love”

A lot of us, if not all, have a certain person in our minds when these two words are mentioned. And when we talk about our first love, we don’t notice but it makes us feel young again. Reminiscing the sweet memories of you and your first love would either make our eyes gleam or our stomach filled with thousands of butterflies.

First loves are really important because it determine how you will be in your future relationships. But what if our first love becomes an ‘unrequited love’?

The memories

“Human memories are too vague. Thinking something has color when it doesn't, making things more dramatic than they really are, glorifying things...” – Yano Motoharu, Bokura Ga Ita (We Were There)

Memories are like time travelling machines we tend to cling on when we miss someone, and in the case of our first love those memories are probably so ‘beautiful’ to forget. We picture it as if it was a scene from a movie. The image of the person we first loved becomes so beautiful not because they physically are but because we spend some innocent and sweet moments with them. And of course, the poignant part of all the reminiscing is the fact that we can’t really go back to that old times. This is where the difference between the first love with a ‘happily ever after’ ending and the ‘unfulfilled’ first love comes in.  When you have left a lot of things unsaid, we always remember those moments. Thus, memories still remain and we always think of all the ‘what if’ and ‘what could have been’

Admit it or not, we are naïve or a bit stupid at the time of our first love. Impulsively, we love unconditionally or expect a lot. We almost do the impossible just for the person we first love. We are too passionate about it that when we finally come to face parting time, we have our high hopes shattered and our hearts broken. You cried buckets of tears thinking that we can’t experience it again and it’ll be hard to love again. It then becomes one of the most dramatic moments of our lives, just like what Rod Stewart said “First cut is always the deepest”

The Art of Letting Go

Yes, you can’t forget the person you first loved (not unless you dramatically had amnesia) but the feelings will subside. It is just a matter of acceptance. You may reminisce those memories some times and consider it as a good ones but don’t wish to go back. Move forward.

First love is a period of time. It never comes back. But why regret and cling to a past when there is a much better future. I think we can get over with our first by finding a next love. It may take time but someone will surely come. It might not be as innocent as the first love but it would be a little more mature. Besides, you do not know then what you do know now. All our first love leaves something to us, whether it is a lesson or a memory.

Whatever the outcome of your first love is, still together or sadly parted ways, one thing is for sure: First Love is hard to forget but eventually you can IN TIME. 

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