An Old Post

I found this on my email. I remember, I wrote this a year ago. It's an assignment for a subject and after I read this I just found myself saying, "I lost my Old Self." I'm a dreamer a year ago. But now, I just can't say I can be what I really want. Reality struck me, and told me dreams are hard to find but I want to remind myself this always: 
Proverbs 18:14
Being cheerful helps when we are sick, but nothing helps when we give up  

Sound of raindrops becomes louder as the nature pours out every sentiment it has on us. While I, just watch the water wash the glass window of the cab where I was in. I left COC at around six in the evening but I’m still at Nagtahan Bridge at seven. I’m hoard in the super heavy traffic that almost every motorist is experiencing tonight. The announcer on the radio caught my attention as he tells about the roads that experiencing the same traffic situation due to tropical storm Falcon. And one of the said roads was my route going to Roxas Boulevard. What a nice timing! I told myself sarcastically. I need to be on Trader’s Hotel at eight, and how am I suppose to do that? I really don’t know. I just content myself watching passer bys and stranded passengers; some are from work but mostly are students. I was very busy thinking about everything as I remember something… I need to edit my draft article for Communication Theories and Models. There are a lot of things to do with it. Though the questions seem so simple, for me, it is so complicated to answer. Just like why I did chose Journalism to specialize in.

Truthfully, I’m not prepared being journalism major. Back in my High School days I never dreamed of that nor did it even enter my mind. Cause first of all I’m not a campus journalist. I felt writing was only for fun and not for serious business. When I was on my senior year, I prepared myself to enter college as a tourism management student. During that time, I just chose tourism because I’ve heard that when you become a flight attendant you’ll earn a lot. That opportunity blinds me until the confirmation day of enrollment at PUP. I really don’t know why but in a few seconds I just found myself enrolling Bachelor in Journalism. But as I have spent my two years in this course, it provides me view on the path I am going. Although I started not knowing why I’m here studying Journalism, in a subtle way, I’ve learned that things here help me grow as who I am today; not so shy anymore and encompass self-acceptance and self-worth. And besides it will prepare me on who would I’ll be tomorrow. But where I am really going; who will I’ll be a decade form now. I think that’s another question from Ms. Bien’s assignment. After twenty minutes of mind time travel in the past, my cab moves a little bit forward, a slight improvement. But really who and where would I be ten years from now?

Perhaps ten years from now I’m studying law or maybe attending classes on film directing at New York University or I perchance be a scriptwriter of the best film and best original story on Cannes Film Festival 2021. However, I still think it would just stay as a ‘maybe’. Well, as they always say, it’s free to dream. I’m not saying those grand and great dreams of mine won’t happen. Reality-based, I just don’t think the chances are so high. But one thing would be certain ten years from now. I must be finish doing my goals and my priorities of today. A decade from now, I will start with a new list of priorities and my top three would be: Me, Myself and I. Cause I’m confident enough that ten years is an adequate time to work hard to prepare a stable life for my parents and help my sister finish her studies. It would be the time for me to have a treat for all the worldly things I want; a condo unit in Makati or a house at Tagaytay and of coarse a car of my own. Who wouldn’t want to have those material things? Besides, it would make me happy. But ironically speaking, those material things are just lavishness for my life, even if I wouldn’t have those in the future I will be and stay happy. My phenomenology was disturbed as my phone rang. It’s a text message from my mother reminding me to be careful on my way home. It was also a reminder for me that she’s one of the people who inspire me to be happy together with my dad, sister and friends. They are the one who inspire me to choose happiness in every situation I’m in. But it doesn’t imply I’ll do nothing in life but to smile. I’ll move on if it requires me to, I’ll let go if it will make my situation work, I’ll go for my goals, I’ll do the right thing at the right time. What I am saying is that I’ll do what I think is right and my decision would sometimes vary but I’ll always choose to be happy and in high spirit whatever life would do to me; whatever life takes me to and even I’m stock in the traffic. ‘Cause life would always stays perfectly imperfect

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